Whenever I used to start a journal, I would always pick a name for it/her and introduce myself. It is interesting to look back and see the various descriptions of myself. I would name my best friends, my boyfriend/s, my music taste.
It's painful to real them. I was always so unhappy, so hateful to myself. Unfortunately in the last few years that pathetic, depressed, negative person has been showing her fugly head. I cant stop it.
If I could be anyone that doesn't suffer from depression and anxiety, I would be her. Telling me how grateful I should be only makes me feel like I'm being ungrateful. In fact I always think of five things I am grateful for each morning. Usually coffee, a roof over my head, beautiful children, access to organic food and a career/job that I can bring my kids to. Often it's my husband.
Many people suffer from mental illness and I want every single one of them to know that they aren't alone. The problem is that two people suffering together tends not to make the situation better. The phone calls to lifeline sometimes seem so patronising. More often than not I feel like I cant say anything to anyone because either a.) people cant empathise or b.) don't want to.
Having children should have stopped her, having my dream job and a husband that I work with should have stopped her, moving to the beach and yoga and meditation should have stopped her.
So why cant I feel ok? Why are there days I cant get out of bed? Why do I still feel like I was never supposed to be here, and everyone would be happier if I was gone? Why didn't getting older make me love myself more? Why didn't anyone else's love ever feel like it was enough?
I wish I could go back and hold my own four year old hand and tell myself that I was the only person that would and could ever love me. I wish I could go back and tell my ten year old self that one day I would be fit and a badass at CrossFit, that I didn't need to control my food with hate. I wish I could go back and tell my teenage self to pull my head out of my arse, do more yoga and start loving the person you are now. I wish all of these things because then maybe at thirty I wouldn't feel like such a giant fuck up.
And here I am. I dont know what to do.
The only thing I can think of is to tell my four year old daughter that her mum loves her, that she was wanted more than anything, that she should love herself everyday even if she is bossy and loud and different. Then I can tell her when she's ten that she doesn't need to be in control of her body and should love it with movement and exercise. And when she's a feisty teenager I can tell her that her home is where ever I am. That I understand that hormones can make you feel insane, that my job is to keep her safe because I love her, that she should do yoga instead of run amok.
And maybe I can encourage as many other mum's as I can to love themselves, maybe even if they cant love themsleves then to at least love their daughters like they wish they had been loved. Maybe then I could understand the reason for me to go through what I'm going through.
Most people have had hard times, most people experience overwhelming sadness or stress at some point in their life, many people are fighting this invisible battle with themselves everyday. 
How do you overcome it?
Writing helps me, as does talking to a trusted friend, 
Definitely being aware of the situations that make things spiral and avoiding them while knowing the people and places that make things seem alright and going there can help.
As a mother, less judgement for yourself, more forgiveness, and reflecting on the experience of "low road" behaviour, thought patterns and words. I am reading an interesting book called "parenting from the Inside Out" which is both hard to read but helpful.
For me, perhaps I may need to consider medication. I am not sure what else I can do to keep functioning the way I want to. Obviously that is greatly displeasing but I will have to see how the next week goes.
Big love to all my readers xx

The past week has been a rollercoaster ride. Monday, Wednesday and today have been awesome with the between days feeling flat, and frustrated.
Funny that Monday and Wednesday are my big days at work...we leave at ten past 5am and arrive home anywhere between 8.15-9.30pm. Sometimes I find it easier to HUSTLE, to have a deadline, to rely upon coffee and sheer determination. I wrote down the list of what was stressing me out yesterday (another great suggestion from my girlfriend to clear my mind):

• money, fear of not having enough to get through the next two weeks
• trying to stay positive so that everyone likes me
• having the filming of my 8 week program perfect 
• computer marketing/launching online and feeling lost because I do not have computer skills
• feeling impatient, which I believe has something to do with the moon
• disappointment at not easing into a routine or ritual, nor having enough space from the kids

I don't think I am the only mumma that desperately craves some alone time but then the second it is offered, anxiety takes over and I panic so much that I refuse any help...?
Hands up?!
Well, this afternoon, E played with the kids so that I could finish my scripting and has taken them to my mummas so that he can train, they can play and I can continue my writing. As they were leaving, I felt familiar panic and overwhelm but lots of cuddles later I realised that my needs are important too and I can put the kids to bed and wake them feeling accomplished.

There really is no such thing as perfect balance, we all struggle with mum guilt, feeling isolated, stressing about finance and loving our selves enough. So my new task is to TAKE the HELP that is OFFERED and always strive to help my mumma tribe as needed.

I'm about to make my own dinner for one and continue writing, this is the luxe life!

On Tuesday 13th September 2016 at 5am, Eric carried my bags and escorted me and the three into the airport. He narrowly avoided a tow away...
was armed with overnight oats in jars, vegemite crackers, cliff bars, cut up vegetables and fruit. I had activities including a magnetised mermaid, colouring and stickers. Though I didn't plan to make our entire trip screen free, it was! So the first flight was fine and in our Sydney stop over I found Bonsoy coffee and was able to entertain the mini people with food, a workout and some yoga. We didnt look that odd...
On our second flight into Ballina all three children slept, I felt so so so lucky that I had some peace and quiet to rest my busy mind. 
Byron Bay is quite child friendly, especially if your little wildlings know how to swim and not run off on you. The weather was less than optimal and on those days I was glad to have my little sister and brother in law help entertain the kids. Each night they were in bed before 7pm and awoke between 5-6.30am. 
I was able to get into CrossFit Byron Bay twice and the last two days were totally ripper weather. So I literally chilled on the beach while the kids roamed free.
There were a few hairy moments, like when I left getting coffee too late. Then there was the time I was carting all of our bags, carrying Reef in the Tula, had just purchased a Naked Treaties smoothie, and Raine desperately needed to poo...we found a public toilet just in time!
The flight home was difficult because Reef had napped on the beach earlier and REFUSED to nap again. There was no stop over, and I was desperately underprepared for food whilst also not interested in carrying any more shit. Cue cranky mumma and kids.
Hubs picked us up and drove us straight to Vegie Bar before bringing us home to our seaside abode.
Travelling solo, was definitely a challenge though I felt really connected to the kids, proud of them for (mostly) listening to me, and pretty stoked that E managed to move us in to our new place.
This is the first time I travelled alone with three, and I doubt it will be the last.
y take away message is simply to relax into the circumstances and enjoy an opportunity to grow.

On Friday 14th July 2017 I did it again! This time I packed the car, the kids and a bestie and drove to Byron Bay...
It's now the 4th August, so it is safe to say I don't want to go home! Steph stayed with us from Melbourne to Bondi (almost!), to Byron and then she jetted home the following Thursday. I then picked up another bestie and her two beautiful kiddies. Hubs arrived on Friday and we partied through Splendour In The Grass like a bunch of responsible adults that carted their kids around. Sarah managed to very cleverly bring her pram while Eric and myself carried our lot :I and I was quite envious, looking back!
Sarah and her tribe left after Splendour while hubby and I moved in with my sister, her husband and their newborn, Solomon <3 we stayed most of the week before driving back down to Sydney for the Hay House Writers convention and then I drove back to Byron alone while E flew home to work.
Since Tuesday I have been living in a beautiful house right off Jonson St and it has been awesome. I've trained every single day, finally getting muscle ups on the rings, I've caught up with my instagram bestie, enjoyed a lot of coffee and a little time and space to get my shit sorted.
I am writing the script to my 8 week program (which will be available online in September) branding all of my Mumma Movement and Doula offerings, writing a book proposal and trying to stay on top of the CrossFit admin. I get maybe an hour in the morning between the kids first and second breakfast, and if I can stay awake after they fall asleep I utilise the time between 8-11pm. 

It's Tuesday night, I'm not sure if anyone can tell how hard I am finding this. I've been alone with the kids since Sunday afternoon (thats nine days), have three days to get through before I am back in Melbourne. I will be exhausted, I am competing in our Gravity Wars Weightlifting comp on Saturday and will be coming off minimal sleep. Training here has been amazing, the kids have really thrived in a big space, we've been super lucky that mid-morning open gym has been quiet, and I've gotten most of my workouts done. There has been LOTS of poos and bottom changing in the middle of my WODs haha.
We have stayed in the most amazing place www.byron-bay.com/seadriftone/ and I've only lost my shit a few times (sorry neighbours!).
I have successfully weaned Reef down to one breastfeed each night to get him to sleep, though he wakes usually at least once for a feed which I refuse and is up for the day at the crack of dawn. As he didn't nap today, he fell asleep in the car driving home from the beach so I have not fed him since yesterday!!!!!
Sometimes being a peaceful, present, work-a-holic mumma on a holiday is completely impossible for me...but one of my fantastic girlfriends reminded me of how hard I do work and how lucky my tribe are to have this holiday experience. 

Last night I had a full breakdown...I let my anxiety about driving home get out of control. I had had a great day, taking the kids horse riding and catching up with friends as well as saying goodbye to Loz, Jake & Solomon, but full loneliness took over at night. I am also reading a book called Parenting from the Inside Out, which asks us to understand our own childhoods with self awareness so that we can parent our children with loving understanding and connection. Prior to becoming pregnant with Reef, I never questioned my parenting. I knew I was doing my absolute best at all times and I enjoyed parenting immensely. The stress of having three and figuring it all out left me constantly on edge, and not being able to talk about how I am feeling left me a little isolated. It came to a head last winter and I was so anxious about feeling hopeless again that I let my worry of the future and my fear of not wanting to live anymore cloud the past year. It meant I wasn't fully present with my children, nor husband and only felt like myself when in motion. I also stopped blogging because I believed that no one would want to hear how sad I was.
Most days I feel really good. My children are wonderful, the community we have built at CrossFit Croydon has completely uplifted me, my husband is the greatest man on the planet and 99% of the time he ticks all of my boxes ;) and of course, I just became an Aunty and feel very connected to my sister, brother and nephew. We worked our bums off for 11months so that I could take some time off coaching and physically being at work and I truly have enjoyed the majority of my time in my favourite place.
The kids are being beautiful today, and I will train and beach it up before driving back to Melbs.
hankyou, dear readers, for your support and love xxxxx

Our wonderful, intense, didn’t-make-it-to-the-water birth

Written by mum of two, Katie, who writes the blog Coffee with Katie; “stories about motherhood and coffee conversations”. 
A week and a half before Zara was born I had 10 hours of contractions. I was sure that I was in labour and that the baby would be born that night. I had been timing the contractions since 4pm and they were coming consistently and getting stronger. At 2am I eventually fell asleep, expecting to wake later and rush to the hospital. Instead I slept till morning and woke feeling completely normal. No baby.
Up until then I had assumed that the birth would be similar to my first – which was a precipitate labour that you can read about here. These contractions made me think that this birth might be quite different and I wondered if I would cope if it was a much longer, slower birth. With my first I had put a lot of things in place to ensure it was a positive one – I organised a doula, hired a TENS machine, had acupuncture, practiced hypno birthing and pressure points with my husband etc. This time I hadn't organised anything, I was just assuming it would be ok, and the 10 hours of contractions made me nervous. We couldn’t afford to do everything we did last time, so out of all of the things I had to choose. I decided to choose a doula as I felt we needed all the support possible and because having a doula last time made us feel so positive about the birth, both in the lead up to it and afterwards. We organised a student doula through the Australian Doula College, which is much less expensive than booking a fully qualified doula. It’s lucky we went for this option because for the second time the doula didn’t actually make it to the birth. Even though she didn’t make it in time I don’t regret having a doula because you never know what type of birth you will have. You just have to plan for the unknowns as best as you can and be prepared for anything.
Knowing my first birth had been so fast and with such little warning I had started staying close to Box Hill Hospital at 37 weeks. This was not something I did with our first baby, as I had assumed that labour would start slow and gently and give me enough time to get home from wherever I was. Staying close to home, made the waiting very real, it made me constantly think that our baby could be close. But I was feeling great right up until the final day of my pregnancy so I started to think, maybe this bub is still a while away.
The day before I gave birth was our wedding anniversary. It was a sunny day and mum and dad had our eldest daughter. We went to a beautiful nursery café in Warrandyte with a view. We sat outside in the sun and took some time to reflect. We went for a walk along the river. We took photos of my belly and I realised that it was absolutely ready to pop, that it was the hugest belly I have ever seen. We sat by the river and talked about our baby. We prayed for her and wrote letters to her. Sitting with the man I love and doing this brought me a great deal of peace. I very much felt that as a team we were ready to welcome our baby and become a family of four.
Sunday morning was the end of daylight savings so my daughter woke at 5am. When she woke us up I noticed that I was having cramps. This wasn’t unusual for me though, as I had been having cramps / contractions / prelabour on and off for about 5 weeks. They weren’t strong so I didn’t think that anything was happening. I started timing them and realised that, though they weren’t strong, they were coming consistently about five minutes apart. I was still in denial though as my previous contractions had been a false alarm. Still we started getting ready for the hospital just in case – packing the last few things, putting the bags in the car, tidying up the bedroom, bathing our daughter and doing her hair for a party she was going to that afternoon. At 8:20am I messaged our doula and asked her to come. I said I wasn’t sure if it was going to go away or progress but I asked her to come anyway. By 8:50 the contractions were getting stronger and fast. I realised that we weren’t going to have time to finish bathing our daughter. Luckily my dad was there so I quickly asked him to get my daughter out of the bath and dressed and we ran to the car.
I remember getting in the car when I was in labour with my first and how dramatic it had been, how I was screaming and kneeling and holding back her head. This time it was all very easy and calm. We drove to the hospital and I was able to discuss the best place to park with my husband. We found street parking. I jumped out, leaving my husband to park the car, and walked alone into the hospital, up the lift and into the birthing ward. The midwife who greeted me later told me I was so calm that she thought she was going to check me and send me home.
But as soon as I got into the birthing suite the contractions started coming thick and fast. I leaned on the table and swayed my hips to get through them. My husband arrived with our bags. The contractions were ramping up and the pressure was building. I remembered the feeling of pressure from last time. I tried a number of different positions and ended up on all fours on the bed. When I arrived I had told the midwife I wanted a water birth and she had turned the water on. I wanted to get in the bath but it wasn’t full enough. The contractions were so painful that I was now screaming through each one. I was grateful though that the contractions were coming and going so I was getting a break between each one to catch my breath. My first birth had been so fast that I didn’t have contractions, they just rolled on top of each other without a break for an hour and a half. Now that I remember the intensity of the pain of birth, I wonder how I did it with my daughter, how I got through it without the break between contractions. With my first birth I actually blanked out as I was birthing, so I blocked the memory of the pain. This time I was much more aware of it, I was feeling every little bit. I was becoming terrified of the contractions because I felt they were too much for me. As I felt them coming I said 'oh no, oh no, oh no; because I didn't feel I could face it. I felt I had too much pain and no path through, as though the people around me couldn't and wouldn't help me through. I asked for the bath and I asked for gas but I wasn't able to use either.
Looking back this is the time I would have appreciated having our doula with us, who could have made some practical suggestions to get me through, who could have advocated for me, updated me on where things were at, explained what was happening and why.
I asked the midwife if she could see the baby’s head. Although you might think it would be obvious whether the head is out or not all I could feel was pain without being able to identify exactly what that pain was. Luckily, the birth was quick, and before long the baby was out (she was born at 9:30, half an hour after we arrived at the hospital). I was so relieved. I had birthed, again, without intervention or any pain relief.
It is often assumed that a quick birth is a good birth and that it makes it easy. I can’t count the number of people who have said how lucky I am. And while I am grateful to have had two quick births, it is true that short labours are characterised by contractions that are continuous or extremely long and intense. In both births I had no options for pain relief, despite experiencing pain that was more intense than I can find words to describe.
I didn’t see it but I was told my daughter was born in the sack. I wish we had got a photo of that but the midwife popped it straight away and my husband was too busy caring for me in that moment. Within seconds she was placed on my chest, naked and wet and messy, and we were covered in warm towels. She was here!
My husband and I had named her a couple of months earlier – Zara Lethu – a name that means ‘our radiant dawn’. I held her close to me and was overwhelmed that she was here and by just how blessed I am to be the mother of two daughters. I looked at my husband, I remembered the first night I had vomited at a restaurant and suspected I was pregnant nine months earlier – what a journey it had been to becoming a family of four!
I was lucky because I had no tearing or problems with the birth. With my first I had had internal lacerations which took weeks to heal. This time the recovery has been much easier and much quicker. I believe that this is birth how God created it to be – with breaks between the pain, no damage afterwards and a quick / easy recovery. Having not anticipated feeling so good afterwards I was amazed, amazed at how the body can repair itself and how it can bounce back from something as momentous as birth. I personally am in awe of just what a woman’s body can do.
So now my second daughter is here, and I’ve just embarked on the crazy, amazing and no doubt life-changing journey of being a mother of two. Welcome, little one.

coffeewithkatie.blog/welcome-about-me/ 

“There is nothing to escape from, nothing to avoid, nothing to oppose and nothing you cannot face or cope with or go through. Each contraction brings you closer to the goal of birth.” Janet Balaskas
First signs of labour may include:

• pre labour
• the “bloody show” or “mucous plug” dislodging
• occasionally the membranes rupture
• period tupe pain or dull back ache
• diarrhoea

Emotional signals that labour is impending:

• Feeling “over” the pregnancy, uncomfortable
• Feeling a little spaced out
• Feeling on edge or on the edge, waiting for labour to begin

Pre-labour
The sensations can range from general aches and discomfort to specific pelvic cramps. These may be accompanied by braxton hicks contractions and will be irregular. You may feel your belly become firm for lengthy periods of time.
There are lots of hormonal changes occurring at this time. As your cervix begins to thin (efface) and stretch (dilate), you may notice a ‘bloody show’ of pink or red mucous, or a mucous ‘plug’ that is thick and opaque.
Bowel movements can be regular and loose at this stage. Your waters may break with a slow leak or a strong gush.
Conserve your energy. If possible stay relaxed and well rested. Hydrate and nourish your body if you can.
Stay aware of how you are emotionally and physically.

Labour
If you begin breathing gently, slowly and deeply at the onset of labour, you will always have somewhere to go with your breath, both in pace and effort, as labour intensifies.
“My breath in, my breath out, my life in, my child out,
In and out, down and out, open and out,
My love in, my life in, my love out, my child out”
Breathe in through the nose and out through the mouth, you can extend the exhale as labour intensifies. Because we can alter our breath voluntarily, conscious breathing has a direct effect on our mentality, allowing you and your baby to connect deeply throughout labour.
The upper layers of the uterus will contract to reduce the space while the lower layers stretch, relax and open to allow the baby’s release. The pressure and intense sensation of labour needs to be accepted, rather than fought against. 

First Stage
This describes the circular opening and thinning of the cervix and is characterised by rhythmic, regular contractions aprox 15-20min apart lasting 20-30seconds. Contactions/tightenings/waves become longer with less space between them. Some women have no pre labour and some experience contractions spaced a few minutes apart all the way through.
This is the time to manage your energy. Some mothers need to relax and lay down, while others need to be active to facilitate progress.
Keep drinking and eating.
Direct your breath to your pelvis.
You should empty your bladder every few hours. As needed, communicate with your birth team:

• remind me to focus during the contractions
• help me change position
• hold me/touch me like this
• tell me to bring my breath down

The energy and intensity leading into the second stage may be accompanied by nausea, vomiting, sweats, shakes and self doubt.

Transition
This interval describes the final opening of the outer edges of the cervix. The descending head against the cervix and the upper walls of the vagina creates immense pressure. 
Second Stage
Your baby is ready to travel through your open cervix, vagina and towards your perineum (the expulsive stage).
Direct your breath into any areas that you feel pressure or intensity. Your body, breath and mind can work together energetically to help you push, at other times it may catch you off guard. 
Continue to “let down” between contractions.
Placing your hand over your vagina, where you can feel your baby’s head emerge, may help you to align yourself to the birthing. Touch guidance may help you feel supported as baby’s head emerges, warm cloths on the perineum can help soften the tissue there and prevent tearing.
Change can help the decent of your baby, changing positions, posture, water/land etc.
There is lots of pressure on your rectum, the whole anal area needs to ‘flower’ open for your baby to emerge, do not resist this feeling.
As your baby is close to being born, you may feel emotionally and physically stretched to your limit.
The baby body will closely follow the head, in the next contraction or immediately. Stay present and focus your breath on your perineum.
Third Stage
This describes the birth of the placenta and the first contact between mother and child. Baby will begin to breathe, provided all is well. Within a few moments your uterus will contract rhythmically again, it will be more noticeable with second and third (and fourth) babies. The placenta will be birthed anywhere between a few minutes to a few hours after the birth of your baby. Once the placenta is birthed, you can truly rest.
Drink something warm to restore body fluids post birth.
Babies receive all life sustaining nourishment from the umbilical cord during pregnancy. The oxygen delivered through this cord gradually decreases after birth, triggering baby to breathe. The baby will instinctively seek nourishment at his mothers breast. The longer you can leave the cord attached, the less likely it is that unnecessary blood loss will occur.
While medically managing the delivery of the placenta with syntocinon is designed to reduce the risk of maternal bleeding, or postpartum haemorrhage, it seems that it actually leads to many of the problems that active management is designed to prevent.
It can lead to a newborn being deprived of up to half of her expected blood volume which is intended to perfuse the newly functioning lungs and other vital organs, thus possible complications such as breathing difficulties and anaemia are caused, especially in vulnerable babies. Further, continuing high levels of adrenaline will counteract oxytocin’s beneficial effects on the mother’s uterus, therefore, increasing the risk of haemorrhage.

Do you have a birth story that you would like to share? Please email sares@crossfitcroydon.com.au

Usually the parents-to-be are busy preparing for the impending birth of their baby. They might be setting up a baby room, finalising a birth plan, cooking for the post partum period. Mum might be “nesting” in preparation of welcoming her child, cleaning and washing everything. If there is another child, the parents might be spending lots of cherished time with them, talking to them about how their world will change. If the mum has been made aware about optimal foetal positioning she may be doing exercises to ensure her baby is in a great birthing position. Napping is a beautiful way to pass the time, as is visualising the birth and meditation. Many couples might feel anxiety about the birth, they may choose to ignore these or seek help. If a wife is being particularly emotional it is best that her husband or partner brings her cups of raspberry leaf tea and rubs her feet while being very quiet ;)
A woman might take supplementation and relaxation more seriously at this time to prepare for labour and the post partum period.

Week 29
Your baby's bones are fully developed, but still soft and pliable. Her adrenal glands are producing a chemical which will be made into a form of estrogen by the placenta. This might stimulate prolactin production in your body, which causes milk production. So that if she comes early, you'll be able to breastfeed.
Some mummas in fact experience leaking colostrum at this stage of pregnancy! The placenta is pressing on your bladder, causing frequent urination, and you may feel a heaviness in the pelvic floor area. It is important to keep moving now as energy creates energy and movement is important to keep you and baby healthy.

Week 30
Red blood cells are now forming in your baby's bone marrow.
You may find yourself breathless, as your belly expands and organs shift in a way that restricts the diaphragm. It is really important to practice breathing deeply, yoga can help you with this. Leg cramps are common at night and can be treated by taking magnesium.

Week 31
Your baby's central nervous system has matured so it can control body temperature.
Sleep may feel like a memory as mumma might be uncomfortable. Stretching can actually help so much with this. By now mumma should be doing three sets of 20 cat and cows daily to help her baby find its optimal position, there is still plenty of time for baby to move. 
Be aware of baby's movements and if there is a notable decrease contact your care provider, baby will be a little restricted as she grows but keeping track of kicks may help decrease the chance of still birth.

Week 32
Your baby practices breathing motions in preparation for birth. His five senses are developed, and REM sleep begins. Lanugo (downy hair) starts to disappear. His body begins absorbing vital minerals, like iron and calcium from his intestinal tract.
Weight gain is steadily increasing now, and fluid retention is likely. Please avoid processed and salty foods. If you suddenly feel quite puffy, you may want to look into preeclampsia, which can prevent the placenta from receiving enough blood, which can cause a small baby. It is a leading cause of premature birth, and complications that can follow include learning disabilities, epilepsy, cerebral palsy, hearing and vision problems. You can prevent this with a healthful diet. 

Week 33
Your baby has probably moved head downward and may descend into your pelvis at any time, beginning to press onto your cervix. This position prepares her for birth and allows blood to flow to her developing brain. She is building her antibody supply.

Week 34
Your baby's brain development is rapid and he is taking deep breaths. His eyes can blink and open when awake while closed when he is asleep, the pupils even dilate and constrict in reaction to light. The white coating that protects his skin (vernix caseosa) is about to get thicker.
It is a good idea to install your baby's car seat and walk your pram with your pooch if you have one.

Week 35
While your baby's nervous and immune system are still under development, everythig else is fully formed.
GBS infection is diagnosed from specimens collected from blood, urine or spinal fluid. Vaginal swabs may be collected from pregnant women to determine if the bacteria are present. Many Australian hospitals screen ‘at-risk’ pregnant women for GBS infection. Other hospitals screen all pregnant women at 35 to 37 weeks. Risk factors include; Preterm labour (before 37 weeks of pregnancy), women whose waters have been broken for more than 18 hours, fever in labour (greater than 38C), a previous GBS affected baby, GBS urinary tract infection in pregnancy.
Be aware that a woman that is GBS positive has no risk factors and no treatment the chance that her baby is being affected by GBS is 1 in 500, which is a low risk.
The antibiotics given to a woman in labour will have an impact on her own flora that she passes on to her baby at the time of birth. If antibiotics are given in labour there is a delay in newborn gut colonisation. The antibiotics received in labour will partially pass to the baby during gut colonisation, interfere with the baby’s development of a healthy gut flora and potentially allow penicillin-resistant bacteria to become established.
Even if a swab result returns positive at 36 weeks, that does not mean that the vagina is still colonised with GBS at the time of labour and vice versa. And research has shown that whilst antibiotics might be effective in most cases, they do not 100% prevent early onset GBS disease in newborns.
Get testing if you present with any risk factors; labour before 37 weeks, waters have been broken for more than 18 hours, fever <38degrees during labour, a previous GBS affected baby, or if you have had a GBS urinary tract infection in pregnancy.
You might start to see your care provider each fortnight now. It is a good idea to have a birth plan, and supportive team.

Week 36
Relaxin causes your joints to feel loose due to the smooth muscle in your body relaxing. This helps you to vaginally deliver a baby, as the pelvic bones need to soften and the vagina needs to stretch. You may start taking Evening Primrose Oil vaginally as of next week, as it contains prostaglandins which help ripen the cervix. Use this while you practice perineal massage, to reduce the risk of tearing during labour. 

Week 37
Your baby will begin to move into a head-down position. When she is facing your abdomen, she's said to be in the occiput posterior (OP) position ie the back of your baby's skull (the occipital bone) is in the back/posterior of your pelvis. The ideal position for birth is LeftOP. Your baby is practicing her breathing, though has increasingly less space to stretch and kick. Her intestines are also building up meconium, a greenish-black substance that will become her first bowel movement.
You may notice Braxton Hicks contractions, which are irregular and random in occurance. These may briefly take your breath away but are all part of becoming ready to birth your baby.

Week 38
Your baby's neurons are still developing, and this will continue throughout his first years of life. His organs are ready to function on their own. Sing to him and spend time in meditation, sending your love and desire to meet him.
Continue to eat small, nutrient dense foods and stay well hydrated, even though your size can cause you to feel less agile than before. 

Week 39
Your baby's chest is becoming more prominent and boy's testes continue to descend into the scrotum.
Your baby knows her birth date. Possibly, when babies are ready, they send a chemical signal of androgens to the placenta, increasing the estrogen and leading to birth. Most first babies are a little "over due" and rarely is a baby born on its EDD. Please be patient and spend these last few weeks making final preparations for your baby.
If you can, swimming is amazing relief from the heaviness you may feel! Continue to practice your optimal foetal positioning techniques, keep walking and make plans to do something you love each day.

Week 40-42
Your baby is gaining weight, and it is very inaccurate to guage their size from manual manipulation or ultrasound.
You may experience labour at any time now, meditation and patience will hold you in good stead.
Check on in with the next blog to read about the stages of labour and some great preparation advice.

Switch off
Turn off your phone, do not allow notifications on your smart phone, keep your phone on silent and pop it on flight mode from 8pm-8am. Turn off computer notifications. Begin whatever it is that you need to do.
If I am studying or writing I chunk my time, 45min of hard work and 15minute mental break per hour. This advice was given to me by my best friend when we were at uni and I still employ this method 12years later.
Meditate in the morning
I have been light sourcing and finding this extremely beneficial, rather than trying to find time to meditate during my busy days.
rebeccacampbell.me/instant-guidance/  
Heathful, nourishing food
at all the curries, roast veggies and drink all the herbal tea. Winter is the time to slow down our world, chew thoughtfully, eat only food prepared from home (or with love at your favourite restaurant). Cut processed food and sugar from your diet and if you are STILL eating dairy then please stop! Wholefoods are the food we eat that is as close to it's natural state without refining or processing.
Nature
Walk daily in the crisp fresh air. Set your feet upon the cool earth or sand and feel connected to our mother. Get that vitamin D :D
Visualisation
"Decide what you want. Believe you can have it. Believe you deserve it and believe it is possible for you. And then close your eyes and every day for several minutes visualise having what you already want, feeling the feelings of already having it. Come out of that and focus on what you're grateful for already, and really enjoy it. then go into your day and release it to the Universe and trust that the Universe will figure out how to manifest it." Jack Canfield
Imagine the person you want to be, what does it really mean to you to be successful? What behaviours and traits does the person you are destined to become possess? Show up every day with tiny inspired actions that draw you closer to the life you desire.
For example, mummas to be, visualise meeting your baby, imagine bringing your baby earthside in a peaceful and loving way. Imagine an empowered mother-centred birth, inhale love and exhale your fears.
Sleep
Recovery and rebalance occurs when we sleep, so go get those zzzzzz's. We naturally feel more lethargic when there is less sunlight and warm days. Light candles to eat dinner by and as the sun sets, prepare for a warm and comfortable nights rest.

It happened again...I left it too late to fill up my cup, overwhelm and anxiety combined with deep depression have become my normal.
Then there's the mumma guilt. My children do not deserve a depleted mother. My children deserve lightness, peace and joy in each day. They deserve presence and ease.
In the trying to create this for us all, I often lose my sense of direction. Sometimes I do so much work on myself that I trap myself into believing I am not enough exactly as I am. And this is already a belief system I carry from childhood. My number one goal is to instill in my children the knowledge that they are enough exactly as they each are, as different and out there as that may be.
I find this challenging with River, as he is exploring some way out there behaviours and voices and can often be aggressive and weird. It challenges me in so many ways.
Bringing this back to the way I want to feel, I want to feel connected, and so I try to listen to his stories as best as I can (uninterrupted by technology). It is hard when by nature, he wants to create and destroy and play as wild as can be! I always knew I would find this age challenging, as I had limited interaction with boys at the same age, and most of the children I babysat were much younger or just in to different things.
We have to just try to connect on any level, today happened to be the alphabet. It is my absolute pleasure to teach my children about the english language, as writing and reading have always been my favourite activities.
I also ensured that I went for a walk and was recharged by the beautiful sunset with Reef. When we returned River and Raine were drumming and singing outside, they think they can start busking immediately!
So here are my top ways to fill my own cup:

• dance
• write, journal or read
• make a list (literally of anything)
• exercise
• yoga 
• walk 
• talk to a good friend or just spend time with them
• pop on a face mask and paint my nails
• clean the house

Sometimes I can literally do all of these in a day and it doesn't impact my mood or my demeanor...at least not like a cup of coffee and a deadline does! So it is my promise to myself to do all of these as often as I can.
Thankyou for reading my blogs, especially if you have been following my journey over the past six years. And if you have only just started following along then I hope next week I can provide you with enough information to discover who I am and my mission.

"I am not here for your understanding of who I am. I am here for your understanding of who you are. I am your mirror. How you feel about me, what you see in me, the thoughts that arise from your encounter of me, the judgement s you held about me are all reflections of you. They have nothing to do with me."
- Emily Maroutian

During the second trimester, energy levels can somewhat return to normal. It is really important to stay well hydrated, continue movement and eat nourishing foods. It is especially important to eat well after a period of morning sickness, so that you ensure yourself and baby receive optimal nutrients. It is lovely to start journalling at this time. Notice the changes within your body, and start to think about welcoming your baby, the sort of parent you might like to be. 
If this is your first baby, enjoy resting where possible, dates with your partner and slowly preparing for their arrival. If you have other children, it is a beautiful time to spend quality time with them, talk to them about what they might expect with a newborn sibling.
You might like to book in your birth support team, photographs and start making regular appointments for body care (massage or chiropractic).


The Second Trimester 13-28
Week 13
he hormone, relaxin, helps to loosen ligaments and joints. It may also make you a little clumsier. Baby's foetal nerve cells have been multiplying rapidly and synapses (neurological connections in your brain) start to form. The baby has more reflexes: touching the palms makes the fingers close, touching the soles of the feet makes the toes curl down and touching the eyelids makes the eye muscles clench. Baby starts to swallow and urinate amniotic fluid! Baby has fingerprints.

Week 14
Energy levels increase and morning sickness may ease up. Miscarriage risk drops drastically.  The baby can move the muscles of its face. HIs or her arms will lengthen in proportion to its body. Downy hair forms on the body.

Week 15
Skin pigmentation may change, and libido may spike. Baby is about the size of an avocado. The circulatory system and urinary tract are in full working order, the foetus is inhaling and exhaling amniotic fluid through his lungs.

Week 16
Constipation, bloating, gas and indigestion may be prevalent due to hormones. You may feel your baby kick for the first time! Baby is rapidly growing, about 13 cms and weighing 140g. The skeleton is mostly cartilage, which will harden later and myelin slowly begins to wrap around the spinal cord.

Week 17
The uterus is growing to accommodate baby, mummas will usually be showing now. The baby’s bones begin to harden, the umbilical cord grows stronger and thicker.

Week 18
Vivid dreams, nightmares and insomnia can disrupt a mummas sleep now. Baby’s ears are standing out from its head. The arms and legs can flex, and the chest moves to mimic breathing. Boys genitals are recognisable and girls reproductive organs are developed.

Week 19
As the centre of gravity shifts, you might experience back ache and clumsiness. Sensory development reaches its peak this week with each of the senses – taste, smell, hearing, sight and touch – developing in their specialised areas of the brain. Nerve cell production slows as existing nerve cells grow larger and make more complex connections. Arms and legs are in correct proportion to the body. Baby measures about 14.2cm long and weighs about 240g.

Week 20
Uterus has reached the navel! Round ligament pain can be present due to the round ligaments, which are attached to your pelvic sidewall and each side of your upper uterus, pulling and stretching as the uterus grows. Vernix caseosa begins to cover the baby, and bub is steadily gaining weight. 

Week 21
Hopefully mumma is feeling amazing, though body image concerns may appear as her belly grows. It is important to keep moving in preparation of labour, for optimal foetal positioning and to ensure strong pelvic floor muscles. The eyebrows and eyelids are fully developed and the fingernails cover the fingertips.

Week 22
Low blood pressure is common, so be mindful of moving quickly from lying down or seated to standing. Nails and hair may look extra strong due to oestrogen (hormone). The baby now weighs about 430g, measures 27cm long from crown to heel, and is proportioned like a newborn. The lips are distinct and the eyes are formed, though the iris still lacks pigmentation. The pancreas is developing steadily. 
The first signs of teeth appear in the form of tooth buds beneath the gum line.

Week 23
Mumma should definitely have felt bub kick by now. Anaemia could be causing a few symptoms like fatigue and should be monitored as bub likes to take what he or she needs and many mummas cannot store iron efficiently. Your baby's hearing is well established and lungs are preparing to breathe.

Week 24
Libido may dip or surge here thanks to hormones. Aches and pains due to growing a human are apparent and sleep may be harder to come by, despite being tired. Bronchioles in the baby's lungs are developing.

Week 25
The uterus grows upward and outward now. Carpal Tunnel Syndrome can occur. Baby now weighs nearly 660g and is about 35cm long from crown to heel. He or she is starting to put on some adipose/fat, and their hair has colour and texture.

Week 26
Fluid retention may occur in some mummas, so it is important to stay hydrated. Baby’s eyes begin to open around now and brain development is intense.

Week 27
The volume of amniotic fluid reduces by half. The weight in the belly might cause sciatica. Baby sleeps and wakes regularly! Often babies will get hiccups now, swallowing amniotic fluid.

Week 28
 As baby and belly grow your legs may ache or cramp, it's hard to get a good sleeping position, and the baby is big enough to give you some sharp kicks to the ribs. The baby weighs just over one kg and may measure 38 centimetres from top to toe. His or her fat layers are forming and his fingernails appear.

This is a wonderful time to start thinking about the delivery of your baby earth side. Ways in which to help you breastfeed, what to do with the placenta, creating a birth plan, starting to prepare a place for the baby to sleep.
It is really important to learn about optimal foetal positioning and pelvic floor health (including diastasis recti). It is important to eat a wide variety of nutritious, fibrous, foods and stay well hydrated to avoid fluid retention and constipation.
It is a good idea to begin or continue exercising.
Talking to each other about labour support from partner, about parenting roles and expectations. Mum should feel safe to discuss any concerns she may have about the labour and post partum period with her partner.

Week One
Mumma's uterus is the size of a fist and sits in the pelvis. If you are planning a baby it is a great idea to behave as if you are pregnant, take folate and avoid alcohol and caffeine. 
Embryonic period begins for the conceptus until 8weeks. HCG hormone increases.

Week Two
"Mittelschmerz" or middle pain is possible. Early Pregnancy Factor (EPF), an immunosuppressant protein is produced in the ovaries. This is signalled by the blastocyst when implantation is complete. Cell division occurs for the blastocyst.

Week Three
Most Mummas will not know they are pregnant, though there may be some symptoms.
The embryo is 3mm and it's miniature heart pumps blood in the mesoderm. It has three layers, the ectoderm, mesoderm and endoderm.

Week Four
Mumma could be feeling lethargy, mood swings, sensitive breasts and there will be a large increase in the HCG hormone.
Embryo now receives nutrition via umbilical vessels connected to the placenta. The neural folds begin to fuse.

Week Five
The increase of some hormones can cause mumma's to get headaches, become lethargic and nauseous.
The embryo is between 4-10mm, limb buds appear and there is endodermal differentiation. Epithelial linings of digestive and respiratory tracts form.

Week Six
Some Mummas will discover their pregnancy and find that skin changes may occur, like breakouts or oily skin.
The embryo has three sets of kidneys at this stage, hand plates and the nasal pits are forming.

Week Seven
Parents may be coming to term with the news of their pragnancy, and this may be a time of excitement or even fear. There may be tension between partners as a mumma is feeling exhausted and emotional, it is my personal opinion that this is a good way to create compassionate and empathetic parents.
Toes are forming on the embryo while the liver churns red blood cells until the kidneys take over.

Week Eight
Especially if this is not a mummas first pregnancy, she may find that her belly is quite hard and "bloated". This is normal. If she is exercising this is a great time to stop all direct abdominal work and keep the heart rate more even, she should be able to talk through a workout.
Bub is about 22mm with his head as large as his body. All of his major brain regions and limbs are present. Ossification (hardening of bones) starts and spontaneous muscle contractions occur. Rapid growth begins for the baby.

Week Nine
Mummas growing uterus may cause more frequent urination.
Babies wrists develop, her ankles are formed, her little fingers and toes are visible, and the inner ear is complete. The placenta develops to support most of the hormone production.

Week Ten
Mumma could well be aboard an emotional roller coaster and may begin to experience cravings. It is a great time to slow down and really listen to her body, finding an experienced yoga teacher, trainer and chiropractor or massage therapist. 
Babies face has a human profile and he develops fingernails.

Week Eleven
Parents should choose a hospital or birthing space, choose public or private maternity care and begin to build a birthing team. 
Baby will have developed her/his genitals.

Week Twelve
Many parents choose to announce their pregnancy now, as the risk of spontaneous miscarriage decreases dramatically. Mumma may start to feel more human now. 
Baby has doubled in size over the past few weeks!