Day five
It's day five of NO SLEEP in our home. Thanks to an ex husband that wont be named, who got a cough, which has now passed from child to child, all I have heard at night is coughing for the last three weeks.
This wouldn't be so bad, I mean, I can survive hearing coughing...it's just that Reef is feeding like a newborn overnight...and he screams like we're pulling out toenails if I refuse to feed him. And this is compounded by Raine screaming at night because of night terrors/being cold/because she is secretly possessed*
Something about the last week has made this even more unbareable. Raine just cries all the time and has these huge tantrums, River is really struggling with that relationship, Reef is particularly demanding with feeding.
I am trying so hard to be the kind mother. The compassionate, helpful safe space my children can turn to. This is making me train well because I need to get this huge energy out somehow. It is hard to speak truthfully and kindly and role model emotion processing in a way that is age appropriate for the kids.
Most of the time my energy is stretched so thin that I could shatter if the smallest thing doesn't go to plan. There is a confronting place in meditation where the magic isn't happening and I have so many questions, and I'm trying to balance the acceptance of what is, with the dreaming and the manifesting the life I crave.
What have I been doing:
Nadi shodhana (alternate nostril breathing) has helped calm my anxious mind.
Practicing yoga each day and making sure I spend 5-10min diaphragm breathing.
Training five days each week, carefully programmed by my husband to increase my strength and focus on posterior development (I've just bought myself some booty bands for an exciting project), as of this week my focus will be back to building up my muscle ups.
My reading has included:
Parenting for a Peaceful World - which is equal parts eye opening, affirming and devastating. I urge any parent or caregiver to read this if they like more educational texts.
Rise sister Rise - one of the (many) things I took from this book is that my true sisters are waiting and searching for me, just like I am them. And I am able to look at my experiences, emotions and actions without judgement, and I feel like I am evolving each day to my life's calling.
Autumn Eats:
We've been having a hard time preparing enough food for everyone, so as long as I got a big ass coffee, a daily kombucha and a smoothie I am happy. We've been drinking Fire Tonic. Breakfast will be porridge and kitchari through winter so I am looking at more breakfast bars and muffins through this season. Warm salads. Pasta and tofu wraps and Vegie Bar dinner is my jam. I've found a delicious recipe for cauliflower pizza which I will endeavour to post.
Wearing:
I am now an ambassador for the incredible activewear store Movement Mecca #mvmtmecca and all of our CFC tribe can get a little discount (code found in our facebook members page). I'm also crushing on Slinkii and Lorna Jane (their tees and undies are so cute!).
All my gal pals are invited to a VIP night at Lorna in Eastland on Tuesday May 9th at 5pm, register your interest with me asap.
Dreaming:
I am filming my Mummas porogram to pop online next month!
Because I am having a little winter break in July, I am looking for accomodation in Brisbane from July 4-11th and in Byron from 11th-30th.
There is some HUGE growth on the horizon to both The Mumma Movement and CrossFit Croydon, they say if it doesn't terrify you, then it's not worth doing.
Mumma's and Mumma-to-be's:
Autumn CrossFit Mummas is now fully booked!! 8 weeks of postpartum training come at us!!!
If you are looking for a doula and would like to enquire about my services, I am still available through the ADC as a trainee until July, when I will qualify! Holistic Birth Packages available in Spring.
Here's to the other zombie mummas, and papa bears, the shift workers, the light bringers, anyone who is trying to heal themselves and therefore our world, you are my tribe.
*Ps I do not actually believe Raine is posessed ;)