Progress over perfection

I have made progress, I have. And yet I sit here with tears streaming down my face again because it’s just so unfair. I don’t want anymore lessons.

A new day, another day of no school…trying to be everything to everybody and I don’t even know where I fit in. I’ve created a fundraiser for myself which has me fighting shame and pride.

I haven’t acted as a doula in 16months. My kids take it in terms to give me a hard time. I’m not writing my book. I’m failing at SO much…yet I hope.

I believe that I will be looked after, provided for, live in abundance. That life is happening FOR me. I believe in my strength and resilience, my tenacity and my heart.

Whilst I question why this shit storm had to happen to me, I question why I wasn’t good enough for the man I loved, why I had to lose it all…my faith is always there. Perhaps it was my dad’s voice soothing me as a child “we can start all over tomorrow, tomorrow is a new day” or my grandfather’s Christianity, his perserverance and triumph through hard times, or my sisters’ unwavering love and support or just the realisation of what my mother went through raising three girls alone for eight years. I trust that my life will turn out alright. That I am a good person that will leave a legacy for my children. That I have helped so many people, it is my job to surrender and receive in this season (whilst balance the business hustle).

I’m here for it all. The chaos, the bliss, the despair…

https://www.mycause.com.au/page/285023/family-help if you can help or share, please do xx