When Alice sang Presley earthside

The homebirth of Presley at 7.58pm on Wednesday 8th July 2020 was the most transformative birth I have witnessed as a doula.

In my time as a birth doula (four years at this time) I have been the birth keeper for hospital births, wanting to bridge the gap in continuity. Despite believing that homebirths are one hundred percent the best way to birth, I also believe that hospital births require as much support as humanly possible. Thats where the magic of a doula can be helpful for the birth family, where we can hold space, advocate and yes almost prepare to go into battle for the birthing woman’s birthing desires.

When Alice and Donny first got into contact with me, we really hit it off. I felt drawn to this couple, like minded and in alignment. I honestly fell in love with them and knew they would have a great birth experience. At first they were booked into the birth centre at Murwillumbah and I was all for this, as they seemed to have done much research and felt this to be the best fit. As time went on, and the COVID-19 lockdowns went into place, Alice and Donny made the decision to homebirth. Their homebirth midwife happened to have an open schedule through July, as did I and everything was just aligning almost seamlessly.

We caught up many times during Alice’s pregnancy and I allowed my children to come along at times, obviously I felt super connected and able to share my heart too. When a pregnant woman experiences a conscious parent in action, with children raised in attachment, I believe it can give her confidence and an insight into what is possible in her own parenting.

Alice was one of the most graceful pregnant women I have had the pleasure of working with, she was doing and had already done so much healing work in preparation of her birth, and motherhood. Donny, too had put in countless hours preparing for his new role as birth keeper and daddy. Their birth plan was actually so beautiful, empowered and well researched, it gave me an exact guide as to how to be with them.

Given that this was Alice’s first birth, I was expecting her to give birth later in July. When she messaged me that things were happening from 1.30am on that Wednesday morning though, at 39 + 3 weeks, I knew we were on. I went about my day, preparing some meals for my family and also for her. I had flicked on the sauna while my children were out at the cinema with their grandpa and as I sat there, Alice messaged me that her waters had just broken and she would like me to be there.

When I am preparing to attend a birth I like to go in empty, I like to be 100% present and willing/able to be a vessel for the birthing experience. I try to eat a little, make sure I have practiced yoga, meditated and feel amazing (as I expect my clients to do). I always journal before and afterwards, ensuring I attend each birth as a guide, without judgement and in my goddess energy/power.

I drove to Alice and Donny’s home (1hr away) listening to music that made me feel pure joy, I knew my own family was cared for, that I could focus on Alice without distraction. When I arrived Alice cried and I enquired as to her emotional state, she simply stated that she was relieved that I was with her. She was making jokes in between contractions at 3pm and making the most gorgeous sounds whilst her surges rolled over her. I asked if she was a singer (a real-life triple threat!) and when she nodded I told her that she would sing her baby into this world.

There was less time in between her surges within an hour and Donny was busy filling the tub and attending to each surge (who says men cannot multitask?!) whilst I alternated between essential oil duty, helping with the tub, providing constant reassurance to Alice that she was doing an amazing job and just witnessing her in her experience. I suggested that before Bron arrived, Donny have some skin on skin time with Alice to continue those loving vibrations and help Alice feel into their relationship for the last time as a duo. After about 30minutes of this, the midwives arrived.

Homebirthing Independent Midwives are honestly angels. They assessed the environment and met Alice exactly where she was, they were quite hands off, assuring Alice that she was doing a fabulous job of this and holding space without changing the dynamic of the birth space (a skill I don’t see often in a hospital setting). Alice was able to hop into the birth pool and the intensity of her surges increased with some more space between them, she was relaxing with her eyes closed and softening in between each wave, and during the peak she was gripping mine and Donny’s hands and anchoring herself into it. The birthing sounds started to change and we could all sense that it was almost time.

It was a challenge to keep the water temperature (something I vaguely recall from my own homebirths) and Alice discovered that she did not want to be on her back! As the time drew closer, I was kneeling beside Alice and I had this moment of channelling all the birthing women past and present, summoning all of our strength just for her.

Alice panted her baby’s head out and with the next wave she sang low and his body entered the water, Bron guided him into Alice’s arms as he was looking up at her. It was magic, euphoric, and celebratory.

It was the birth baby Presley had wanted, the birth Alice and Donny had envisioned, just a straightforward calm and powerful homebirth.